she picks up her board

open our eyes.

Sometimes we lose ourselves. It is when we lose ourselves that the world seems to crash around us. The walls fall one by one and we sit in silence watching the destruction not realizing what is happening. It is this destruction that has occured here.

I have lied to myself. Though I knew, I didn't take the challenge of changing. It is so hard to see through, that makes it so much harder to push if there seems to be no end.

It's like this:

lying
stealing
destroying
killing...

Sounds like a nasty definition to me...kinda like what the devil does eh.

I have been so deceived that it is hard to see through. I am saying that I have been deceived. I have taken the lie that "I am too far gone, and that my heart can never be recaptured nor could the love of God."

I have had my life, love, desire, passion, heart, family, relationships, all stolen.

I feel everything being destroyed and I can see it as well. And it's killing me.

Sounds pretty interesting doesn't it.

I am not going to say that I haven't allowed these problems to arise. I am also not saying that many of the problems present now aren't problems that have been present for a very long time. There is just too much to know, too much to see. I know one thing. All it takes is heart. I got heart. I will move on from this. I will not lose heart, life, friends, family, love, desire, "Everything."

I will take it all back regardless of how hard or how incredibly complex it all seems. All I know is I got heart and that's where I need to start.