mother of pearl

I have a good feeling about the future in the area of personal issues and Jesus. The one downfall I don't see disappearing-sorry being dealt with is the situations and circumstances between parents and myself.

Furtherness of explaination. I feel permanently damaged by the past. I feel broken down by the present and the future scars me.

It feels like I cannot be comfortable nor can I relate properly with men. I don't know its like I am vulernable to any man. I could get hurt by any and all of them. That is hard and crappy.

Mother now. NO COMMUNICATION. At least no proper communication between us. I don't feel treated right. Crap that sucks probably the worst of all. Then I get blammed for everything when she gets bitter and mad. Just flip and flip. I can't deal with her level of sensitivity. I mean it's like she gets unlogical and unfair when she gets sensitive. The world is practically lost.

It is this that crushes some hope. The problem is I don't want to wait till I'm gone to fix it, however it feels impossible any other way.

I need help and I need hope for those relationships. I need some good healing! Well it will take a miracle but I know God's got lots of them. Plenty to throw my way. I can't wait for it. I also wish that I could actually deal with it. It feels like I am incapable of dealing with them.

Man, if it ain't one thing it's another. Yet I feel peace just not around them...shoot. God help me. Yup that was a cry for help. I am asking so let me receive now....YES! Received.

Remaining.

Well I just feel so needy and like I complain to you guys all the time so here it is.

Pray for me please. Love you guys and God bless.