Incrimination

I don't know what to do with my dad. I don't know how to treat him. Talk to him. Be around him. I don't know how to love him. Care about him. I just don't know. Bother am I confused hugely about this part of life, of my life. I don't know if I will ever quite get him. Or how to be around him, or anything about him. I pray that I will find my father, my dad. I wish I could express what is in my heart to him. It's all suppressed and it's horrible. I don't know what to say, or not say. I don't have a relationship, well a decent relationship with my dad. I don't know what will ever come of us as father and son. This blog is to get help. Not to sound nice or mushy or get great comments. Give me advice!