life is..

life is..hard
life is..slow
life is..school
life is..work
life, life, what is life..

I just have to get a few things out there. I am having quite a tough time guys. I am having a very hard time studying and in fact I haven't studied for a while..bummer. I am having hard times just giving God most of my time. I haven't started work yet, which is pretty sucky because I need some more structure and I believe that if I start working it will be a little easier to give God more special one on one time.

I am struggling with lots of stuff.

I am just bummed about the slowness of everything, I want to get going, I want to get on it! I want more Jesus and it feels like its been put on hold. I also feel that what I know is not sufficient. I feel like I am shaped by that a little bit, I feel left in the dark when it comes to the idea of deep intimacy, and to tell you the truth I feel pretty alone right about now. Maybe that means that I will be entering a season of alone time and lots of intimacy with God and that He is trying to teach me that, that is what I need and that its what He wants right now.

Here are a few more; I'm having some troubles in the parental department, I just don't know how to respond to my father, I don't know what to say, and I don't know how to act. I'm not saying there is this specific thing for me to be, like a perfect child or whatever. I am saying I would like a decent relationship and I don't even feel that I can give my part in one. Never mind the other side of that (his part). That brings me to the point and fact that I have a problem with authority, in some respects, parents, cops, government, teachers..etc.

Yes, I just don't know what to do. I feel a little crappy...umm yeah a lot of it is just feeling compared to others by specific knowledge of Christ, yet, no one is comparing it but me. I don't know if this happens to all be a lesson, or a break through of passion in my life where I will just explode or what but I am not feeling so dandy..and the final part as it always is, girls. And it sounds retarded everytime I say it but I just don't know what to do about them. I mean I wish that I didn't like them and they didn't like me because then that would be done! I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!?

So guys I would just ask for your prayers not specifically for stuff like girls and stuff but just for break throughs, revealations, AND PASSION! Motivation as well.

Love you guys.
Shaun.