love never changes - Paul Wright

This is going to be a fairly direct blog. Though I have "almost" had enough advice and I am just sick of it to be honest. I want to ask a few questions. I feel I should get a turn too I guess. Here they are:

Why can't I just be "accountable" to family, friends, myself, God? I mean sure I have to be accountable to someone else..

Why does it have to be a pastor or counsellor or whatever? Why do I need one anyway? I mean I know I am in a crappy place but the last thing I need is a stranger giving me advice that I don't want. And what about the problems that I "HAVEN'T" discovered well whatever that means. Why do I need this dude to bring up things that should be dealt with between God and I? I mean yes I need help. Don't we all?? We all need support don't deny it. It doesn't mean counsellor. I understand the concern. Still.

I am just done with non-relational type conversations and crap. I mean I understand guys are trying to help but it all seems like it all gets worse when I talk to you. Why can't a friend be good enough. What I really need here is God. A friend..that type thing. I understand the older wiser thing. However being accountable for depression??? You must think I am suicidal. Really. Other wise I wouldn't need some "figure" to make sure I'm ok.

Lust well I am doing flippin amazing. It's all good.

So it is depression left. I mean you probably say I should be accountable with lust too. Understandable. But everyone knows. All my friends...like family everyone. Depression...everyone knows. Why do I need some guy to go out for coffee with and why do I need a "psychologist" to do all this junk.

Answer me some of these questions even though you have talked lots about it. That's the direct blog for today, nothing special just anger and questions. A little confusion.