Unforgotten forgive me

How true does that ring. Oh so true. It is pretty hardcore for me right now. I would like to let you all know what I am feeling right now, then I will talk to Jesus.

This is how I feel:

unforgotten forgive me
I'm sorry but you know I'm not
I can't run from you
I can't hide myself from your eyes
beautiful eyes I can't forget
there's tomorrow
say goodbye tonight

That is the extent of what I have to say to you and Jesus. Tonight I realized how much I miss Him. How I have purposely looked away. How all of my sorry's have been untrue. How my heart is lost and I want Him to find it. I can't run or hide no matter how much I want to, no how hard I try. I know that I can never succeed in hiding from Him, I have felt like I have sometimes but I was wrong. No matter how hard my goodbye and no matter how hard my heart is, He won't say goodbye.

Something I just stumbled upon was this revealtion. "tonight He touched my shoulder and said come on home son." How crazy and beautiful is that. That could bring a grown man to tears. I am in awe, I have no idea what to write. I will try however. I was sitting and trying to play a song that I wrote but I couldn't figure out how to play it. Well in the midst of this, I wasn't having a good time. I didn't really want to play and I was like man there is no passion in what I am trying to do. So I continued sitting and playing. Then I was just like I'm tired of this. I prayed and I just said I'm sorry God, this means nothing without you I am sick of leading a life that is meaningless and without you. After that I kept playing even though I didn't want to. After a few minutes I was like you know what I don't care what this sounds like I just played even though I didn't want anyone to hear. Crazy and stupid weird feelings. Yikes. Well then God was like here is something. I started singing something similar to what is stated at the top

However I made something up that didn't make sense it was:

Unforgotten forgive me
I'm sorry but your not

Then He was like, hello you are not! It's not Me who isn't sorry. It wasn't like in a bad way. It was just like listen to Me Shaun. You want some meaning in this music, you want some praise just think. How does it make sense that I'm not sorry, when this is clearly about you. I was like yeah that's true, wow I never would have thought to change those words...meaninglessness. Sheesh.

I know Jesus wants me back. I know I miss Him. I want something more then music. I don't want fame or anything for myself. To tell you the truth it is very easy to make something about yourself, not just life in general but music in this case. He just stated "make it about me." I mean thats what I was asking for anyways.

I don't know what else to say, but this isn't about appearance. I just thought you should know.