as i lay dying

1.
only through the struggle have i found rest
with a piece of me taken away
i begin to understand
hollow out this machine like chest
with its gears that turn to make me feel
and assembled thoughts that fade away
remove from me
this deception that i called love
2.
that night i never came home
wandering souls captured my thoughts
emptiness filled my mind
urgency spoke her lies
in the confines of these grey walls
i watched them move together
taking me places i cannot remember
we have been poured out
into a loveless bride
how quickly i forget
that this is meaningless
in a world passing through my fingers
i still chase the wind
what have i learned from yesterday
5.
i've watched them build
upon these empty hearts
false hopes of lossless paradise
gathering together
the dead hearts beat as one
stillborn comfort feeding lies
through answers of self denial
divided between a dissolute self
and the sorrow of sincere devotion
what is it that you find peace in now
where is your hope in this dark night