Everything in me wants to leave

Everything in me wants to leave..

It is true..all my desires seem so wrong. HOW CAN THEY ALL BE WRONG!

Everything seems wrong, as if nothing will work out!

NOW: School is alright. That is awesome. GIRLS ARE SO FLIPPIN HARD! Parents are hard. Friends can be hard but amazing. God feels distant.

PAST: No Comment.

FUTURE: NO IDEA! I have no idea about future. I feel my future is completely different from everyone elses and that it is going to be so out of the "NORM" that people won't understand and that no one will understand including myself.

• MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIPS...I can't even express.
• God...seems like only a wish-a desire that could never be fulfilled.
  

All these things are selfish in some way..I don't know why I say that but I am pretty sure it's true. I mean here is something to think about: I am ready and raring to go to church tomorrow because I want to meet with God. Yet I look at the "situation" of God or His people. (us) and I just say, "you know what this is all crappy." I mean everything is SO COMPLICATED! IT SHOULDN'T BE!!!!!

EVERYTHING IS JUST TOO MUCH! I just can't take it. That is why I ignore stuff and it is why I will try my best to continue to ignore it until I can possibly feel sane or comfortable or something.